Whatever You Make It

When you get divorced after being married for a long time, it seems that your friends and relatives who have also been married for a long time take a special interest in your dating life, like they’re thinking they’re going to live vicariously through you.

Until they figure out that your dating life actually consists of you saying you wish you had a bad-boy boyfriend like Deacon on Nashville. Then they go back to their regularly scheduled programming.

Last night I was talking with one of my many cousins (Denise is not my only one, you know) about what I would like in a relationship. That would include low commitment, very little time spent together, and no pressure to move too fast, (I am aware that with this impressive list, the boys will be beating a path to my door), and of course, my sentence ended in laughter, since I was describing what I wanted in a “relationship” and my list is something of the antithesis of a relationship.

I was really amazed when she said, “Well you could make it be whatever you want. It could be whatever you want now.” And she’s right.

Any relationship can be anything you want. I think we get so caught up in these social constructs of what it’s supposed to be.

Of course you have to have a willing partner if it’s a relationship. But, we can seek out people who are willing to be with us on certain terms – who aren’t all caught up with how life is supposed to be, and we can make our lives what we want them to be.

How would you change your life if you didn’t comply with these social constructs?


  1. Denise says

    I’d date George Clooney. He’s obvi non-commital, and easy on the eyes, so not much to think about in that relationship. Kinda a no brainer.

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