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Jump without a net

ashipissafeThe good things in life – the really good stuff – doesn’t always come easily. Often it’s a bit dangerous. It’s as if there’s a bit of risk attached. Like you’re jumping without a net. Taking a leap of faith.

Maybe you screwed up and are feeling sheepish about making things right again. Maybe you want to lead a life that’s out of the ordinary. Maybe you want to change your life in ways that no one ever expected of you. Maybe you want live and love large.

While it seems so difficult to take a leap of faith – to jump without that safety net – it’s really rather simple. We all have two very simple and distinct choices to make. They are…

1. Continue doing exactly what you’re doing right now and risk living a life filled with pain and regret

OR

2. Take a dangerous leap and risk falling to the ground with no net, resulting in the potential for great pain, rejection, and embarrassment or the potential for smashing success.

See? The options are quite simple.

Perhaps you didn’t notice this because thinking through your personal leap of faith may have propelled you into an instant state of anxiety, but let me tell you what I observe about those two simple choices. Both options leave you with the potential for a bad outcome.

But somehow the pain of the first choice seems like it might be a lot worse and be more far-reaching in our lives. Always wondering “What if?” is a terrible way to run a life.

Whereas if you go with the second option, at least you tried. At least you mustered up your courage and took a chance. So maybe it goes your way or maybe it doesn’t. And maybe you’ll even still end up feeling miserable, but at least you will have taken a risk and made your best effort to fulfill your dream, and let me tell you, that means something. It means that you can walk away with your head held high. It means that you can rest easy knowing you had the courage to try. It means that you can close the door on that chapter of your life with no regrets.

So go ahead. Make that phone call. Take that far away vacation. Start that business. Do the thing that scares you the most. Jump without a net.

You never know…you may just land on your feet. In fact, you may just end up having a wonderful life. Then one day you’ll look back and think about what might have happened if you didn’t take that leap of faith and you’ll be so overjoyed that you did.

So go ahead. Jump.

Compassion

Compassion-Share-It

We want to hear from you, our readers! What do you think?

Compassion is defined as “being sympathetic of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it”

But what happens when compassion is lost?

Let us know what you think.

Love yourself

hug-yourself

Ultimately, everything comes down to loving yourself. How you treat yourself, how you care for your body, how you nuture your heart and soul, how you expand your mind, how you feel about and treat others, and even your capacity to love others.

If you don’t love yourself, fully and with abandon, none of the other things will fall in line as beautifully as they can nor will you reach your fullest potential as a human being.

When we are born, we are primed and ready to receive love, from ourselves and from others. In fact, we require it to survive.

And then life begins to take swipes at us. Some poor souls experience the harshness of life and lack of love even as babies and young children. Others take more whacks as they grow older. Many, many people in this world – far too many – are hurt and damaged in ways that have taught them not to love themselves. Tragic, but reversible, if you wish to make changes in your life.

But where to begin?

Perhaps it’s not a simple or direct path – more like peeling away the layers of an onion – but definitely a path that each and every one of us can and should embark upon.

Maybe we just begin with being kinder to ourselves. Recognizing our own worth. And investing in ourselves. Or perhaps begin a spiritual journey to discover your truth, whatever that may be. Begin to love and appreciate your flaws and your quirky self. It’s what makes you uniquely you.

Tell yourself aloud and in your head, “I love you!” Say it again and again, like a beautiful mantra.

If that sounds hokey or strange, read “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It” by Kamal Ravikant.

love yourself 1It’s a quick, yet potentially life-changing read.

Most of all, take care of you. You’re the only you there is, and that makes you very special. So love yourself. And if you don’t know how, learn to love yourself. It will make you a better person and the world a better place.

Find your tribe

findyourtribeFind your tribe.

Those very special people who bring great joy to your life. Who make you happy when you’re sad. Who lift you up when you fall down. Who accept you and love you for who you are. Who encourage you to embrace who you are and where you are and what you are feeling, without question and without asking you to change.

You may not have more than one or two of these people in your life, and that’s fine. They may be a motley crew, and that’s fine too. And if you don’t have a tribe, don’t give up until you find them. They will bring endless joy to your life and you will likely bring the same to them.

So go find your tribe. They’re waiting for you.

Put Yourself Out There

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If you don’t put yourself out there, how can you possibly move forward?

Are you afraid of rejection?

Are you afraid of being out of your comfort zone?

How will you meet new people?

How will you get the new job?

Are you afraid to ask?

There are a million reasons why we don’t put ourselves out there. And fear seems to be standing in our way.

But you have nothing to lose by putting yourself out there, and everything to gain. I’ve met some wonderful people by putting myself out there, and some celebrities too. The reason that has happened is because I just put myself out there. I ask, I make it known, whatever you have to do. And quite honestly, it’s not always easy. However, once you do it, you can start to have a lot of fun with it.

Go for it and Put Yourself Out There! The worst that could possibly come out of it would be you end up right where you are now.

Me, Will Farrell, and my husband - putting ourselves out there & asked for a pic - he willing obliged

Me, Will Farrell, and my husband – putting ourselves out there & asked for a pic – he willing obliged

It isn’t easy

never simple never easySome relationships just aren’t easy. There’s nothing simple about them, and no matter how we try, there is always something awkward, or worse yet, painful.

Disappointment, angst, hurts large and small, unfairness, lingering sadness, or just plain feeling uncomfortable.

Chances are, in a lot of cases, it’s not fixable. It is what it is. Especially if it’s someone we can’t easily write out of our story.

So we deal with it. We realize that every now and then we will feel that discomfort, that hurt, and the best we can do is to do our best to get used to it and to try not to let it catch us by surprise. Recognize that it’s there, always beneath the surface, like an underground spring, bubbling up to the surface every now and again.

Maybe we get used to it over time, maybe we don’t.

I guess the only things we can do are to try to protect ourselves from the hurt and be thankful for the good relationships we have.

If you have one or two amazing people in your life who make your life easier and richer, then you are very fortunate. If you have more than a couple, then you’re amazingly lucky. Allow them to drown out the feelings of those more uncomfortable relationships in your life. Because in some cases it is easy. Cherish those relationships.

Fight loneliness

celebrate yourself

Today I had to travel for my job. I really don’t mind the travel on occasion, since it allows me to spend some time alone – at least in the evenings when I’m not in meetings.

I like to be alone from time to time, because it allows me to think and process whatever is going on in my life.

Every now and then when I’m alone like this, it’s not a peaceful retreat. Because loneliness sets in. When I slip into a downward spiral about how alone I am.

I’m guessing that this happens to many of us from time to time.

What to do when loneliness grabs you? Fight it!

But how?

  1.  Phone a friend  – Friends are a lifeline when you’re feeling lonely. You don’t even need to unload on them about your loneliness – just talk and connect and have a couple of laughs.
  2. Do something that’s just for you – Treat yourself to something special. It doesn’t have to cost much or anything at all. Sit in the bath by candlelight.  Read a book. Go get a coffee.
  3. Get up and move – Move your body. Get up and do some exercise. You don’t need to belong to a gym. Go for a walk, or even jog in place. Then do some sit-ups and push-ups. All free and you’re going to feel a lot better.

So how did I fight my moment of loneliness? I called Denise and we had some laughs and talked about a couple of serious topics too. Then I went to the hotel gym and worked out for a while. Came away feeling like a million bucks and back on track. Loneliness gone.

But I didn’t stop there.

After my workout I planned my best friend’s birthday dinner and then invited a new friend to lunch.

Now that’s the way to fight loneliness!

What do you do to fight the lonelies when they strike?

Independence

heavens openEvery now and then, the heavens open up and something just clicks for us. We gain an understanding of something that’s been just outside of our reach. We can see it and almost touch it, but haven’t quite been able to welcome it into our heart and soul.

This week my world shifted. Suddenly I began to truly understand the importance of being a standalone, independent person. Someone who can support themselves emotionally and financially. Someone who doesn’t require another person to feel whole or complete.

That’s not to say that I don’t want other people in my life, because I do. In fact, I want people in my life more now than ever before, because I want to expand my world.

It’s more that I realized I’m OK with them or without them. I can not only survive on my own, but thrive.

What brought on this shift of consciousness? Nothing in particular. It’s probably been a metamorphosis that’s been happening over a period of months or years.

But let me tell you this. It feels great. Awesome. Fantastic. Amazing and empowering. Joyful. To know that unlike a child, as an adult, I can survive on my own and support my own needs.

Independence.

In turn, what that also means is that anyone whom I choose to invite into my life and my world is there because I want them there, not because I need them there. Because they add to my world, not subtract. Because they fulfill me, not fulfill an unmet need.

How independent are you? Are you ready to shed the chains of unhealthy needs and wants and experience relationships in your life that are additive?

It’s the begining of an expansive and liberating journey. Won’t you walk that path with me?

It’s scary

scaryIt’s scary putting yourself out there in the world. Sharing a part of yourself with someone new. Being honest and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Especially if you like them and you hope that they will like you too.

Whether it’s with a new friend or a new lover, it’s not easy being the real you. Opening up. Sharing your thoughts and opinions. What if they don’t appreciate what you have to say? What if they don’t agree with you? What if they just don’t like you?

Let’s be honest. It can happen. You might open up and share something amazing and they might get freaked out. Or you might share a deeply held opinion and it could turn them off. Or it’s entirely possible that despite your best efforts, they just can’t relate to you. Or even worse, maybe they simply don’t like you.

It’s possible.

All possible. Someone might not be able to handle the real you and might get freaked out and run in the opposite direction. Someone could get turned off by your opinions. Someone may not get you and they may discover that they just don’t like you. In any of these cases, as I and your mother would say…to hell with them then, you don’t need them anyway!

But let’s get real. Probably a little bit more likely is that they’ll appreciate how warm you are and how willing you were to be vulnerable in front of them, not even knowing if they’d be open and supportive.

And if you have a strong opinion that they disagree with, perhaps they’ll see that you are not your opinion. That your one opinion is merely a small part of a much greater whole in a person so very diverse, and perhaps that will make them so intrigued that they want to learn more about you and what makes you tick.

Rather than not like you, perhaps they will find themselves very drawn to you, and maybe they even feel an astounding connection, the kind that happens only several times in a lifetime. Or perhaps they uncover feelings that go much deeper…maybe they love you.

All possible.

But you will never know any of these things if you don’t put yourself out there in the world, if you fail to push yourself into seemingly scary situations, if you don’t open the window to the world of possibilities.

Sure, it’s scary. But without taking a chance, you have nothing. Jump in, even when you’re scared and open your heart and your life to a world of amazing relationships and opportunities. Open the window and let the breeze of possibility blow into your heart.

Declare your intentions

intentionsThis morning I treated myself to a facial – a little something special, just for me – and turns out that I ended up having a very enlightening conversation with my aesthetician, Lou, who is an absolutely wonderful lady.

We spoke about declaring your intentions. The idea is that you state your intention aloud, preferably to someone else (but I’m guessing that saying it out loud to the universe probably works too).

What it does is give a voice to your thought or dream or goal. You hear it and if you declare your intention to another person, they hear it as well. So now it’s not just an idea rolling around in your head, but a statement of intent – something you plan to actively manifest in your life. And maybe the universe with even throw in a little help too!

It made me realize that while I don’t have a lot of negativity in my life or my thought processes, nor do I really do any negative self talk, I’m also not actively putting my intentions out there in the world and manifesting the dreams that I want to come true in my life. I’ve been passively contemplating a lot of hopes and dreams but not actively bringing them to life. Huge realization.

So it’s time for a shift and time to declare my intentions.

How about you? Is there something important to you that’s just been simmering on the back burner for a while? Why not decide if it’s important to you and if it is, state your intentions.

Once again, in the amazing words of Mary Oliver

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Don’t spend another day waiting. Declare your intentions. Then manifest the hell out of it and bring your dream to life!